so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
