You really coming over, don't trick.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
