Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Someone came in the potted fern
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
