i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
