Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
