I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
