Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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