why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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