She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
