How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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