you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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