similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize