big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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