I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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