he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
