More tranny stories later!
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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