last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
