its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
