I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
