Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
