white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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