cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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