You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
