I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
