sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The best revenge is premature balding
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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