Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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