I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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