Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize