I must be too annoying 4 u.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
