shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
