Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How does one acquire holy water?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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