let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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