For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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