its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
