But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
