I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I can text with my tongue
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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