but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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