ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize