Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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