I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
