After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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