Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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