a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
