I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Randomize
