Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
