He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
