In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize