I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
