Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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