I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
