12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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