He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize