Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
