Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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