They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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