I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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