OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
