the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
