What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
