her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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