we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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