omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
did i walk over a car last night?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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