I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Non-Jews are for practice
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
