he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize