How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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