i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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