her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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