Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
