I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
