sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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