Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
