never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize