I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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