Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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