My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
