I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
