There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
is it fun? or sober?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
