I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
