she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
