Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
