i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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