Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
