Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
